FAKE-REQ
The Requirements Faker
Says "this requirement is simple" on the outside, curses the PM eighteen times on the inside.
Dimension Pattern
It's not that you won't work overtime — it depends on the situation, mainly whether there's free dinner.
Normal hours, occasional crunch, not quite death-march territory.
A little ambition, but not much — enough to cover the mortgage.
Good enough is good enough — we're not launching rockets here.
Bugs? That's QA's problem, not mine.
You know you should pay it down, but it always gets pushed to the next sprint.
On the surface it's "got it," internally it's maximum roasting.
Lone wolf mode. Don't bother me — I have headphones on.
Wearing the mask most of the time, occasionally letting a genuine curse slip.
Occasional anxiety, but nothing a bubble tea can't fix.
You know your strengths and limits — no ego trips, no self-pity.
Content with the status quo — why switch jobs? It's all the same grind everywhere.
AI? Let's wait and see — let others be the guinea pigs first.
Forced to learn new tech because the boss said so — powering through reluctantly.
Career plan? Let's survive today first.
Personality Profile
The following is a stylized description of this personality type, written in the original author's uniquely humorous voice.
Congrats, you've tested as the classic [Requirements Faker]. On the surface you always say "this requirement is simple," while you've mentally cursed the PM eighteen times over. Your greatest skill is repackaging "impossible" as "technically feasible, but…" Every time the PM pitches something new, you perform like a trained actor — smile, nod, internal monologue: "drop dead." You don't not want to refuse; you just can't face the barrage of "but why not?" that follows. So you chose the path of least resistance — agree first, then silently work overtime to implement it. Over time, you've been molded into the shape of requirement changes. Everyone says you're easy to work with; the truth is you've just been converting all your rage into late-night code. Advice: next time, just say "I suggest the PM rewrite the requirements doc" and walk out. Even fakers have the right to say no.
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